Trust Me When I Tell You…

There’s nothing more annoying than when random people (or even those you know very well) tell you to “enjoy these moments with your baby because it goes by in a flash.”  Well, when you’re walking up and down Second Avenue at 3am with a screaming baby who is completely overtired and had an overstimulating day, “enjoying” those moments is for the birds.  Listening to conversations of singles coming out of bars and hearing them question where and what time brunch will be the next day can honestly make you want to run for the hills.

At risk of being one of those annoying people, and as a mom of a 14, 11, and 8 year old, I can say that I’m often shocked at how quickly the years have flown.  And while I absolutely love these ages, I do miss the easy, albeit sleep-deprived, days without “Queen Bee” girl drama or daily reminders to the boys to don the deodorant (my husband would pipe in “at best”).  I got into this conversation with a prenatal client yesterday.  She was saying that she understands the time just flees so quickly and wants to spend these sweet moments holding her baby, but many friends have “warned” her to not hold the baby for too long or she’ll never learn to self-soothe.  My experience is that there’s a time and place for everything.  Babies need to have the security of being held.  They’ve been with you for nine months; they know your voice; they know your smell.  Research has shown that babies in the NICU who take part in kangaroo care, where mom holds the baby bare chest to bare chest, are discharged much faster than babies who lay in an isolette with little contact from their mothers.

At the same time, I believe that you do want to give the baby time to get used to her own space…her crib, bassinette, even a cosleeper.  It’s okay to put the baby down and for everyone to have their own space during the day!

You are a pacifier.  But that’s NOT a bad thing.  It just means you’re able to relax your baby.  Yes, there will be times where your older “babies” will jump into bed with you on a Saturday morning or cuddle on the couch watching a movie, but take this time with your little ones to snuggle.  Before you know it, they’ll be taller than you.